5 dos and dont’s for helping an elderly with depression

Depression is a mood disorder that affects our emotional and mental functioning. While sadness is a major symptom of depression, many elderly with depression claim to not feel sad. Moreover, many assume that feeling low is a part of ageing and many are reluctant to talk about it. These are some reasons for why depression in the elderly is so often overlooked.

Studies reveal that Geriatric Depression in India is as frequent as 10% to 25% of the elderly population. This means that the rate of depression goes up to as much as 1 in 4 elderly.

Red Flags of Depression

Feeling of sadness, low mood	Increased Irritability
Complains of aches and pains, often unexplained	Reduced socialization, loss of interest in hobbies
Weight loss and/or reduced appetite	Memory problems
Lack of motivation, fatigue, slowed movement or speech	Fixation on death; thoughts of suicide
Neglecting personal care (skipping meals, forgetting meds, neglecting personal hygiene)	Reduced self-worth (worries about being a burden, feelings worthless or self-loathing)
Sleep disturbances (difficulty falling or staying asleep / oversleeping / daytime sleepiness)	Hopelessness or helplessness (like there is no way out or no one who can help)

Recognizing the signs and symptoms is the first step in getting help. If you notice some of the above symptoms manifesting in your loved one, then it’s a time to be alerted to the possibility of them being depressed. How can you help them?

Psychologists and counsellors can help the elderly cope and come out of the depression while medication may also be prescribed by a psychiatrist to correct the neuro-chemical imbalances that depression brings about. However, once you have recognized a depression, it’s important to understand your role in helping them.

The following are some “Do’s and Dont’s” in helping the elderly with depression:

DOs	DONTs
Have a calm and planned conversation with them with the aim to find out what might be bothering them and any recent changes that affected them.	Don’t angry at them as you’re anxious about their wellbeing. Forcing them might backfire so taking it slow is important.
You may use softer words such as ‘feeling blue’, going through a ‘rough time’ to take the edge off.	Don’t use words like depression, ‘can’t cope’ or other words that may make them defensive.
Reassure them that you understand how they feel and are not judging them and will support them in their decision.	Don’t let them feel judged and labelled. They are likely to feel guilt and shame and that must be removed.
Let them help themselves as far as possible and help them break down tasks into smaller activities but retaining their independence.	Don’t take over and do everything for them. That might make them feel like a burden.
Take their permission to be part of the process of visiting doctors and going for appointment so that you can help communicate to the doctor and back.	Don’t force your way in, but seek their permission and show your intent to help. Being there to support will help make the process less scary for them.

Samvedna Senior Care was set up in 2013 with the aim of providing services for active ageing and dementia care in Delhi NCR.

We set up the Samvedna Senior Care Foundation in December 2016 to promote active ageing through senior centres, and events and workshops on subjects like learning smartphones, interpersonal relationships and more. We bring together dementia caregivers through a support group and have a programme for seniors with early dementia, depression or other minor cognitive impairments.

All our counsellors are psychologists or gerontologists.

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Cognitive Wellness Programme, Sector 57 Gurgaon –
Samvedna’s Cognitive Wellness Programme is designed for seniors with mild cognitive impairment, early dementia or Parkinson’s, and elderly lacking in enthusiasm and motivation. The aim is to stimulate the mind of the elderly to slow the progression of the disease or impairment. The sessions are 3 days a week, 11AM-1PM.
More – http://www.samvednacare.org/our-work/cognitive-wellness-programme

Great Times Club, which is a part of the Samvedna Senior Care Foundation, is our social and recreational club in Sector 57, Gurgaon, for members 55 years and above.Its a place where members come to get fit, meet like minded people and share their life experiences and give back to the community.

Activities at the club include fitness exercises, group meditation, mind stimulation, tambola, dancing, book reviews, movies, community outreach, and talks on health management. The club has a library, computer room, visits by physiotherapists and doctors, access to board games and cards, a fully functional pantry with healthy and affordable snacks and tea and coffee on the house.

There are special discounts for group memberships. The club is open Monday-Friday, 11am to 2pm.There are special classes for yoga, smart phones, computers, spoken english, dance, music and painting. Call Great Times Club at 9818421446, 0124-4229659.

Know more here – Great Times Club